I WILL GET MARRIED TO WHO I WANT!

Marriage is an integral part of the society. It breeds the family which is the smallest unit of the society. Marriage despite being indigenous is evolving fast especially in a society like our, from polygamy to monogamy due to various factors like religious beliefs, economic hardship to name a few. These changes however positive it may seem has its down sides like the increasing divorce rates, separation or even bigamy whatever the case may be.

In a society like Nigeria, marriage is seen as the greatest achievement of a life time, in that no matter how much you have accomplished knowledge or monetary wise, you are considered less if being married is excluded. Therefore socialization towards this reality is imparted from birth to actuality. Little wonder there is pressure everywhere as young adults struggle to achieve this especially to avoid parents breathing down their neck to get married on arriving a certain age.
To the guy you hear "you have to settle down now that you're still hustling so you know the girl is not in for your money". To the lady you hear " ladies are like flowers, you better settle down now that you're still
blooming before you fade away". Then desperation sets in.

As a lady you see a guy whom you just met yesterday and today  he's introducing you to his friends as "his wife" to be, "mother of his unborn children", "baby mama"! Excuse me! We just met like 5 minutes ago! Quite alright we've heard of success marriage stories that began this way, and we know you're under pressure but that does not mean it will work for you. It's just a new tactics to make the innocent lady believe you're serious and surrender because by default women are programmed that way.
Hello! I will get married to who i want!
And you see a lady who is still in the phase of self discovery pressured into marriage because it is believed that it is the final definition of the so called " self discovery ". Do not get me wrong, I'm not saying that the concept of marriage is bad news, I'm just saying i will get married to whom i want!

Also, Mummy and Daddy who go about arranging marriage partners for their children our "ókó" "iyawo" syndrome all in the name of pawn or gift marriage, or simply tribal and cultural bias in favour of theirs. We know you mean well and want the best but gone are the days when such bias and favouritism was the basic criteria in choosing a life mate.

Times are changing fast. Parents and the society needs to understand that the 60's , 80's and 90's culture of marriage is entirely different from reality of today. It's a new ball game all together. People are allowed to choose anybody from anywhere at any point in time to settle down with and such decisions respected without any conditions attached.

So i am sorry to burst your bubble, but I WILL GET MARRIED TO WHO I WANT! 





                                                             Originally Val



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