Boma and Ego's relationship has always been a bed of roses. Theirs was one everyone wish they could ever have! They held hands in public, went on romantic dates, knew each other's family in fact Ego's mother was very fond of Boma calling her pet names like "our wife", " my pikin ". Everything was going on so smoothly that they decided to get married.
Then came the drawback, the more the wedding drew close, the more they realized that a life time is a very long time. They knew that what the had was not as rosy as it looked. There were issues in camera to deal with which were not adding up. They called the wedding off after all time wasted and impressions made!
Compatibility is not similarity. A couple that is not compatible is simply not compatible. Take from Boma and Ego's story, these were two people who were sure they knew what they wanted oblivious of the fact that there were other things involved that should be considered before going on a journey of forever!
Being in fairy tale relationship do not signify compatibility.
As a man or woman, you should know and establish what you want, instead of what you think you want, what your family, friends, or society wants and follow suit.
Below are 10 signs which you should look out for to determine if you and your partner are compatible or not.
1. Lack of Trust
For a relationship to be successful, there must be an equal amount of trust for each other. If you cannot totally vouch for your partner or constantly worry about his actions when you're not around, you might not be well suited for each other. Being in love and dating entails a lot of risks and your partner should be able to trust you with his entire being. His weakness, strengths, secrets etc.
2. Different approach to Life
There should be certain points of agreements when it comes to interests, beliefs, values, intellect and standards. Especially when it concerns important matters that affects the relationship. A couple that has totally different views to life are not compatible no need to mince words. This consequently results in argument and discontentment.
It is to note however that your views may not exactly be the same (after all everyone is entitled to his own opinion) but a consensus should be achievable.
3. Different relationship goals
One sure criteria of getting into a relationship is to establish where it is headed. If you are a serious minded person that envisages a future and commitment with your partner but on the other hand he just wants to play around and take life as it comes, you obviously have different goals as regards the relationship. You should have a rethink.
4. You are not yourselves around each other
Your talk perfect, act perfect, and even think perfect when around such person! This is a red flag. Like minded couple should enjoy each other's craziness, condone shortcomings and flatter their ego not always tensed. When only party keeps compromising, the relationship is bound to fail.
5. You outline your partner as perfect to others
Nobody is perfect. If you keep portraying your partner as being perfect, always equal to the task and meeting expectations that is a cover up conspiracy. There is nothing wrong in admitting your partner's a mistake or weakness to others this just shows maturity.
6. Communication is always Tensed or Defensive
To maintain a healthy relationship, communication is key. If you cannot communicate freely both good and bad without fear of being judged or criticized, functioning at peace will rarely be achieved.
7. You fight about "kitchen issues"
Kitchen issues are matters that are insignificant. Arguing about things that should not be an issue at all is a sign of incompatibility. There is a place for mutual understanding and tolerance in a promising relationship.
8. Not fighting at all!
A healthy dose of argument in a relationship shows you care and if there's no quarrel at all in the name of 'harmony'the relationship has lost it's savour.
9. You don't look forward to spending time together. How do you itch to be around your spouse? Do you prefer your own company? Is there always a sigh of relief when he steps out? The answers to these questions will determine your next move with your partner.
10. Sex is only when you feel connected
A man can be in a sexual relationship with being emotionally involved but to a lady sex entails a high dose of emotions. If you observe it's only the sex that connects you, that relationship is not a healthy one. It takes more than sex to be compatible and maintain a relationship.
A relationship can make or mar an individual. It can be heaven on earth or the other way round. These points should be a guide to know if your relationship is on the right path. Establish your wants and go for it! Do not settle for less.
Truly
Val
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